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Darwin Jokes and Evolution


A guy goes into a bar and asks ''can I have a pint of energy please?''
The barman pulls the pint and says ''that'll be 80p please'' (80p read ATP)


Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division.


If Darwin was right, you will probably figure it out in a few million years.


When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.


Biomathematics Final Exam Question:

Model the brain.


Why did the chicken cross the road?
Darwin1: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Darwin2: The fittest chickens cross the road.


On his long voyage on the Beagle, Darwin studied thousands of animals and plants in all parts of the world. To learn more about his evolution theory please click here.


How do you identify a bald eagle?
All his feathers are combed over to one side.





Blood flows down one leg and up the other.


Enzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which otherwise require harder thinking.


Three freshman-engineering students were sitting around talking between classes, when one brought up the question of who designed the human body.
One of the students insisted that the human body must have been designed by an electrical engineer because of the perfection of the nerves and synapses.
Another disagreed, and exclaimed that it had to have been a mechanical engineer who designed the human body. The system of levers and pulleys is ingenious.
"No," the third student said, "you're both wrong. The human body was designed by an architect. Who else but an architect would have put a toxic waste line through a recreation area?"




One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orang-utan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's The Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?
"Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."


Q: what do you call the leader of a biology gang?
A: The nucleus.


A silver medal is given by the Royal Society in biennially (in even years) in reward for work of acknowledged distinction in the broad area of biology in which Charles Darwin worked, notably in evolution, population biology, organismal biology and biological diversity.




Did you hear about the biologist who had twins? She baptized one and kept the other as a control.


A Charles Darwin anecdote:

Charles Darwin saw a beetle and picked it up. He saw a second and picked that one up in the other hand. He then saw a third one, which he really wanted. Not knowing what to do, he shoved one of the ones he was holding into his mouth in order to pick up the third one. The one in the mouth emitted some kind of stuff which made him spit out the beetle and also lose the other two.


Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.




Learn more about Darwin's personal life and the Beagle voyage


Culture Shock: A biologist Disease.


Do molecular biologists wear designer genes?


Q: How do you call a laboratory in which they use rats as test-animals?
A: Lab-rat-ory.


It's Your Genome (After All)
(Sung to the Tune of "It's A Small World")

Verse:
There are just four bases in DNA.
There is G and T, and there's C and A.
And their sequence in genes
Forms our guts, lungs, and spleens
From our genome after all.

Chorus:
It's your genome after all,
It's our genome after all,
It's our genome after all,
We've great gobs of genes.

Verse:
If your ACA turns to ACT
There's a world of problems
For you and me.
For the bases won't hold,
And the protein won't fold,
From your genome after all.

Chorus:


Learn more
About the Human Genome Project


Q: How do you tell the sex of a chromosome?
A: Pull down its genes.


Q: What did the male stamen say to the female pistil?
A: I like your "style".


One of the topics that most fascinated Darwin were orchids and especially the way they attracted certain insects like bees for pollination. He wrote three books about the topic.

Bee Orchid - Ophrys scolopax Cavanilles
Courtesy of Pascal Pernot

The Ophrys scolopax Cavanilles
Notice its resemblance to a bee.

Learn More about Orchids


The Orchid Grower - A Juvenile Science Adventure Novel

The Orchid Grower
A juvenile science adventure novel about orchids and genetic engineering.
By the author of this site.




Q: What did one lab rat say to the other?
A: "I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack.


It has been discovered that research causes cancer in laboratory rats.


"In Science the credit goes to the man who convinces the world, not to the man to whom the idea first occurs."

– Sir Francis Darwin (1848-1925, English botanist, son of Charles Darwin), In: Eugenetics Review (April 1914, "Francis Galton")



The Origin of Species

Charles Darwin's The Origin of Species, published in 1859, is one of the most controversial books of the 19th century. Although the theory is widely accepted by scientists today, it is still banned in many schools (esp. in southern U.S. states). The full title of the book is On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life.
In it, Darwin presents a theory of evolution - a concept that embodies the belief that existing animals and plants are developed by a process of gradual, continuous change from previously existing forms by natural selection. This theory is in most aspects identical to the theories now accepted by scientists. He carefully argues out this theory of evolution of species by natural selection by presenting all the accumulated scientific evidence from his voyage on the HMS Beagle in the 1830s. His theories were opposed to the then-accepted viewpoint of creationism. It is arguably one of the pivotal works in scientific history. Moreover, it was (and still is) eminently readable, even by the non-specialist (although it is very wordy - a good general level of intelligence is a prerequisite for comprehending the arguments and subtle nuances put forth by Darwin).
Darwin, as evidenced by his later work, The Descent of Man, was well aware of the implications such a theory would have on the study of the origins of humanity; consequently, he withheld publication of his accumulated evidence in favour of natural selection for more than a decade. He was eventually forced into publication because of the independent development of a similar theory by Alfred Russel Wallace, who sent Darwin his manuscript in 1858. Darwin's theory of evolution was put forth the following year. It is felt by some that Wallace deserves as much credit as Darwin for the theory of natural selection, and that he has been rather unfairly marginalised from the history of its development.


The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.


Do you believe in evolution?


The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.


A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.



Alfred Russel Wallace (1823-1913)

Do you know that:

Although Wallace independently reached the same conclusion, as Darwin about the “natural selection“ theory, it has usually been Darwin's name alone associated with it. Wallace expressed no resentment at receiving so little credit for his contribution. He remained a gracious man to the last, commenting late in life that his greatest achievement had been to prompt Darwin to publish his own theory. To learn more about Wallace, click here.


An unemployed biologist got a new job at the zoo. They offered him to dress up in a gorilla's skin and pretend to be a gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo.
On his first day on the job, the guy puts on the skin and goes into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring.
During one acrobatic attempt, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help!"
The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and hisses, "Shut up or we'll both lose our jobs!"


Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.


Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should


Watch Evolution TV


I love fools' experiments; I am always making them.

– Charles Darwin


A mushroom walked into a bar. The bar tender said, "Get out of here! We don't serve your kind."
"Hey, what's the problem?"
"Just get out of here. We don't serve mushrooms."
The mushroom in anguish says, "Why not? I'm a fun guy."


Serious & Funny Evolution Links

Biology & Life Sciences Science Fair Projects and Experiments

Biology and Evolution Trivia - biology humor, jokes, games, quizzes and trivia.

AboutDarwin.com - a website dedicated to the life and times of Charles Darwin.

Biology & Evolution Biographies - Evolutionists' and Biologists' biographies and images.

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